The Truth Box: BS Box Part II

By Kayla Reetz

Last week I shared a blog about writing down all the things your mind tells you that aren’t true.  Things that have always been accepted because it came from upbringing or maybe things you have told yourself for years to just get by.

Our mind rationalizes and tries to make sense of the world around us.  Its primary job is to keep you safe in the quickest, most efficient way possible- and if it has learned to do that through unhealthy neuro pathways linked to your behavior or mindset, then it's not going to know the difference until you take action to notice it first.

Taking time to look at the truth of something can be difficult and revealing.

That’s where the BS Box idea stems from.  Well…that and personal experience which is all I can offer in this blog: things I have experienced and learned first hand and now pass on to you in hopes of a better, brighter future for you.

If you are reading this far, I am going to assume you read the first part of this article prior to this one. If not, go do that. I am also going to assume you did the activity and are ready to take more action. It’s ok if the answer to that is “nope” or “not right now”. This mindset is patient- it will always be there waiting for you to be ready.

Take the list you created from last week. While I instructed you to let them go, you have likely noticed they haven’t left- not really.  You probably noticed them creep into your everyday thinking like a silent nudge in a certain direction. And, if that experience was like mine, it annoyed you. You may have even been annoyed at me.  Please know this practice isn’t a magic switch or pill. Sometimes we have to go through the discomfort in order to create change.

Take time to read your list again with fresh eyes. Read it as if you are your best friend or someone who you know truly cares about your health and wellness- maybe even try to hear their voice. Take time to consider how they would react when reading/learning them for the first time. Hopefully, if they are someone who truly cares for you, they would react with surprise, shock, anger and maybe even a little hurt.  Not because they are mad at you or because you did something, but because they didn’t realize you felt this way- that you talked to yourself that way. Take time to notice how that information- the information from this other person’s perspective- makes you feel.

Journaling is a proven way to help sort and detangle thoughts and feelings. Adding it to a consistent routine can help keep your mind at optimum level!

When I did this with my own BS list, it bolstered my resolve that I am not the things listed- that the items on my list were just a way of limiting myself and allowing others to do the same..

Now, take the time to reframe each one to something that is more true to your current reality. Try to acknowledge the hardship in the reframed phrase while keeping it positive.  Life is not a walk in the park. Positivity is only helpful until we start to ignore the hardship- then it becomes toxic. Keep the reframe realistic as well as truthful.

Here are some examples in case you need help getting started:

Initial inner thought: I will never be successful. Bull****

Initial inner thought: You are a burden to your family, friends and community. Bull****

Initial thought: You are not _____ enough. Bull****

Reframed thought: I can accomplish difficult things even though I may struggle

Reframed thought: Those who care about me want me to be happy, healthy and safe.

Reframed thought: I am learning. I am growing. I am enough.

If you are not comfortable saying these things to a friend, it’s ok. Write them out. Record them somewhere you can come back to. Still say them out loud as if you believe them even if you don’t…yet.

When I practiced this, I had a close friend read the initial thoughts out loud back to me. This meant physically practicing the letting go of my list and it surprised me to notice a little bit of fear in them seeing it. But, as I heard from a recent favorite podcast, “letting go is a tool of resiliency”.

Hearing their voice say each one was a bit harsh, admittedly, and I noticed I reminded myself that I asked them to do it- this wasn’t their thoughts, but my own reflected back to me- multiple times and collected that information to analyze later.

After they say the phrases and refute them, now it’s your turn to reframe it. Say it out loud to them. 

And “I don’t know” is an acceptable answer. This is where having a friend there can be very beneficial. They just might say something you really need to hear/remember and this activity gives them a chance to. If they care about you, they are going to want to without expectation of reciprocation. Let them. All you need to do is listen.

Congratulations! You have now turned your BS box into a Truth Box!

I would love to hear if and/or how this 2 part activity hit home for you. Please feel free to leave a comment below!

May you find peace in your mind, your heart and each day moving forward.